Growing Up Me

I grew up watching my parents, and grandparents with their relationships.  I seen the respect and love they had for each other.  I want that kind of relationship.  My parents had their ups and downs with their marriage.  They couldn’t make it work between the two of them and divorced when I was two.  They have both since found and married wonderful people.  Love, respect, concern, trust, and fidelity are part of their everyday marriages.

Now that I am grown and dealing with my second divorce, I am wondering what the hell happened to values in marriage.  What happened to mutual respect for your partner?  Shouldn’t courtesy for one another be a given?  Since when did keeping your private parts between you and partner and not half the country become an option in committed relationships?  When did it become kosher to party and bar hop without concern for the others feelings?  Since when did trust become something that is one dimensional?  Why is it something that is only reserved for one person of the party?

Marriages and committed relationships are not like going car shopping. Love, respect, concern, trust, and fidelity are not cruise control, sunroof, air bags, power windows and all wheel drive.  It’s not like saying well I don’t use cruise control so that’s not a perk that I want. You can’t pick or choose what components of your vows that you want to keep and make your marriage work.  I don’t want part of them. I want all of them. They all go hand in hand. Am I being unreasonable? Am I asking for too much?

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