Growing Up Me

Still in the Halloween spirit, I have looked up Goblins.  I think I may have had one of these creatures around growing up. Since they attach themselves to families sometimes then maybe it has followed me.  They also like pretty children which I definitely have.  Below are some of the traits of Goblins and why I believe I have one attached to me.

•  Goblins travel in bands so I think I have a subset of Goblin known as the Hobgoblin. Signs to look for if you suspect goblins are around. Cats, dogs and other small domesticated animals will go missing. Nightmares, especially of being chased. We always had nightmares growing up.  We had numerous pets disappear from our yards. So did a lot of our neighbors.

• Goblins are pranksters, and are known for rearranging items in the house, tangling horses, banging pots and pans, removing the clothes from sleeping humans, knocking on doors and walls and even digging up the graves to scatter the bones around. They like tripping people and other mean spirited pranks.  My step-dad always seemed very clumsy.  He would trip for no apparent reason.  We would tease him saying that if there was a hair on the floor or a speck of dirt he could trip over it.  Maybe it was a goblin doing it and not him having two left feet.  One house we lived in, there was a mysterious knocking noise in the bathroom.  Our cat would stare at the spot and would not let us in the bathroom alone.  He would even go so far as to growl at the spot.  We did not live here long.  Many times children and pets are blamed for this creature’s pranks and practical jokes.  Maybe it is not my oldest daughter who always leaves the button for the shower up so that everyone gets sprayed with cold water when they don’t notice it before turning on the faucet. One of the pictures I saw of a hobgoblin, had him wearing a pillowcase cape with crayons in hand.  Maybe my two year old is copying him and only putting her artwork on the walls because of him.  Dad would always look at us like we were guilty of tripping him when we would be on the other side of the room.

• They pester humans in a number of ways, such as hiding small objects, tipping over pails of milk and altering signposts. Tonight, I found my 2 yr old desperately trying to clean up not one but two glasses of kool-aid on the floor.  Since I did not see her dump them in the floor maybe it was the goblin.

I think I may have a hobgoblin and gremlins since goblins are more primitive and not known to disturb electronics.  Unfortunately, the gremlins must have multiplied and one is now on my father-in-law’s Freightliner.  It has broken down about four times in the past month.  I mentioned something to him about the possibility of him having a gremlin and of course being male said “No, I don’t have a Gremlin I have a Charger.” I thought I was car crazy, jeez.

Sources:

• Arthur Spiderwick’s Feild Guide to the Fantastical World Around You
• www.got-goblins.com
• faerie.monstrous.com
  

I have to tell you that Gremlins are real!  They are listed as imaginary creatures or invisible creatures in the dictionary.  Here are the definitions from Answers.com:

1. An imaginary gnomelike creature to whom mechanical problems, especially in aircraft, are attributed.
2. A maker of mischief.

The second one defines my children because a Gremlin is termed as a maker of mischielf.   Especially, my youngest.  I believe once they turn two they are swapped with a gremlin for a year.  If the gremlins really like them then you are stuck with a gremlin for life.  This leads me to why I think they should add a third definition:

3. A two year old child in the period of life known as the terrible twos.

My children are not responsible for all of the mischief in my home.  I have some unexplained electrical and mechanical disturbances as well.  My stove has went on the fritz.  The oven quit working on the stove.  Two months later, a bottle of cleaner fell over on the stove top causing the oven to magically start working again but the control panel then quit so I could not turn it back off.  I cut the power off at the breaker box and took the stove apart.  I got all of the cleaner out of it and put it back to together.  I did not do anything to it other than that.  The oven then would not work but I had the control panel back along with the exhaust fan that will not stop now.  This comes after two coffee makers dying along with our microwave.  Our dryer is now acting up.  Not to be outdone the washing machine is also making funny noises.  We have had two desktop computers, two laptops, a printer and a fax machine to all crash.  We have also had two cellphones to break.  Several flashlights have broken while in the drawer.  This is not to mention all of the items we have had to just disappear!  Curiously, being in the Halloween spirit, I looked up the definition and history of Gremlins.  The following is also from Answers.com:

English Folklore: gremlins

A subspecies of goblin which evolved early in the 20th century, probably during the First World War; certainly their existence was acknowledged (with dismay) by members of the RAF during the 1920s. They are reported to be anything from six inches to two feet in height, greenish or grey, sometimes with horns or hairy ears, and wearing a wide variety of colourful and eccentric clothing. Their original speciality was causing otherwise inexplicable malfunctions in the engines, electrical circuits, and other operational parts of aircraft, drinking up petrol, and tampering with landing strips on airfields. They have since diversified, and apply their expertise to virtually any type of machinery, the more complex the better; one group has become skilled in producing misprints. They often laugh uproariously at the success of their activities, a trait which may indicate kinship to Puck and Robin Goodfellow.

From their description of a gremlin, I could see how a small child could be confused with a gremlin.  Yesterday, Augusta definitely fit the description.  She wanted to dress herself and insisted quite loudly in her terrible two manner.  Well, I pick my battles and since we were not going anywhere, I chose not to turn this into one.  I left her wear the green checkered shorts with her orange flowered night shirt, one green sock and one red one, and of curse her shoes which were pink and purple.  I did win the battle with her hair putting it up in pigtails which did kinda look like hairy ears on top of her head.  She then topped off her outfit by coloring herself green with a marker and adding a baby doll pacifier still attached to the doll outfit as an accessory.  Hence, why I believe they swap our children for Gremlins maybe all the way through the “Why Momma?” stage so they can learn everything that they can about how our new appliances work.  So they can then turn our already hectic lives into appliance mishap hell.

Now that I have got some of my computer issues cleared up, I have to say that I am glad I am back.  I have missed Today and all the wonderful people here.

I know every mom wants their kids to eat healthy.  Today I seriously wonder if I have went too far with the healthy food kick.  I was sneaking myself a Twinkie even though I am on a diet.  Hey, I have lost thirty pounds and am now back in a healthy weight range for me. I deserved that Twinkie! Someone would have had to kill me to pry it from my hands.  Well, my two year old has not felt well today with a little tummy upset.  She had not eaten much and I had been trying to tempt her with some of her favorite foods.  She rounded the corner into our kitchen and caught me red handed.  Of course, she had to have it. Not wanting it to be the only thing she ate, I gave her half of it.  My mother-in-law is looking at me like she could flay me for giving it to her as she mentioned Augusta needed to eat better.  She pulled a tomato out of the fridge and started to slice it when Augusta threw down the Twinkie and went for the tomato.  She ate the entire thing! Now, I know I have done something right by this experience but it really freaked me out.  My other girls will only eat tomatoes in the form of pizza or spaghetti sauce and ketchup! I want them to eat right but everyone deserves a twinkie now and then.