Growing Up Me

I went to college to learn how to work on computers.  I struggled for three years while raising kids and working at least two jobs.  While mentally I can do the work, it is very physically demanding in a lot of aspects of the job.  Due to health issues, I was out of work for nearly two years. I have recently tried to get back into the work force to no avail.  I have four years experience as a network administrator with an expired A+ certification to go with an Associates Degree in Computer Science.

Companies are hiring people with a Bachelors Degree without any experience in the field before they will someone with a lower degree and experience.  That does not make any sense to me.  Book learning will only take you so far.  In the technology field, by the time that you have finished your four year bachelors degree, pretty much everything you have learned is out of date.  The standards have changed and new technology has come out which makes it almost impossible to get a job again once you have been out of the workforce.

I feel like I wasted my time, my money, my scholarship and something even more precious that you cannot get back.  Three years of missing things with my kids while I was trying to be a better provider for them.   I felt like my mind was being wasted because I have learned all these things but can’t put it to use.  Then one morning, I woke up and I realized I hate it.  I hate working on computers, and programming routers and switches.  I hate crawling through dusty spider infested ceilings in ancient buildings probably filled with asbestos to pull cables from one room to the other.  I hate dealing with crabby people with crappy computers that take their anger out on you when you are trying to help them.  It makes me want to smash computers with sledge hammers or throw them off the roof and watch them shatter into bunches of pieces.

Not only do I hate computers that are now a neccessary evil in today’s society but they are going to make me burn in hell.  I realized that I cussed the computer at least four times a day.  My other job makes me really cuss the computer because I work from home as an online researcher.  Like most of America, I have a crappy computer so 90% of my day I am a crabby person.   I find myself cussing the computer which only responds with the flashing of its cursor or just stubbornly refuses to work at all and demands a rest.  If my mind is going to be wasted, why couldn’t it be wasted on some beach.  Just give me a lounger and two pena coladas. I need one for each hand.  Then if my salvation was at stake, I’d at least be a happy soul with a good reason starting with the Cabana boys!

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